There's an old Esquire survey that keeps making its rounds on the Internet. Initially published in 2010 and still buzzing about in 2016, The Esquire Survey of the American Woman asks plenty of revealing questions — like how much women earn, if they'd ever consider plastic surgery and if they liked receiving oral sex.
You can probably guess that the last question went over like a lead balloon. While oral sex sounds like a great appetizer to the main event in theory, 10 percent of women said they didn't like it at all. And a whopping 44 percent of women said it could be "nice" every once in a while. What gives? Well, you know, and we know, that many aren't as proficient as they claim to be in the ways of the tongue beneath the sheets. And many of us women are shy about asking for what we want in bed, making even the best attempt at oral very awkward indeed.
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Believe it or not, these tips, coupled with some expert guidance, can help make receiving oral fun again. As you might have guessed, it's all about finding out what works for you and what doesn't — and getting comfortable using your sexy bedroom voice to direct traffic:
The most important thing a partner can do is ASK a woman what she likes. Many are too afraid to ask their partners what they like because they don't want to come off sounding inexperienced. Well, you're going to come off as inexperienced anyway if you try performing oral sex without first asking about their preferences. The proof is in the pudding, folks.
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Don't jump onto her vagina or clitoris right away. First, warm her up by teasing her all over. Start out kissing her mouth and then kiss her cheeks and neck. Work your way down her body. Caress her with your hands. Try to make the experience as sensual as possible. Oral sex is more than just going down on her.
Take things slow. Don't act like a hungry, slobbery brute. Once you make it to her clit and vagina, gently lick all around. Direct stimulation can be too intense for some, so explore the surrounding area. Ask her where she likes to be touched. You don't have to be rough with your mouth unless she wants you to. It's always best to start off slow, unless she specifically requests otherwise. Some women do like it when you roughly use your tongue and mouth, but only do so if she asks.
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Try the reverse hug technique. This shouldn't be too hard if you're in good shape. You'll need to hold her upside down in front of you. Her head and shoulders should rest on the bed, and her back should rest against your chest and stomach. Hold her up a bit so that she won't feel too much pressure around her neck. Just wrap your arms around her stomach and lower your face between her legs.
Try the doggy greet technique. This technique involves a combination of oral sex and doggystyle. While in the doggystyle position, pull out of her when she is close to having an orgasm. Then, you hurry and lower your head towards her clit and use your tongue until she has orgasm. Once she has the orgasm, enter her again. Basically, you go back and forth between using your tongue and penis. If done right, she should have multiple orgasms!
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Another fun oral position to try is "under the sink". She stands right next to the side of the bed and squats down a little. There should just be enough room for you to lay on your back on the bed and place your head between her legs. She is mostly in control of her own pleasure. She can squat further, tilt, lean back, etc. This position is pretty easy for you both to do. She just needs to give you enough room so that you don't strain your neck.
These are just a few examples of the many oral sex techniques and positions you and your partner can try. As long as you are willing to experiment and try new things, you should be able to have a very strong orgasm.
Originally published Dec. 2011. Updated June 2016.