Nowadays, I'm a married person, so I'm not going on too many dates. But back in my 20s, I really enjoyed dating — the thrill of the unknown, the excitement of meeting someone new and the potential to spark a connection.
But to get to the fun part, you have to plow through all that awkward first date chitchat. That's why I've dug back through my bag of tricks to gift my best first date questions to you. If you're sick of the "get to know you" questions, cut to the chase.
Use these icebreakers to find out what your date is really all about:
1. Morning person or night owl?
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My secret confession is: My hyperactive-Chihuahua morning personality tends to annoy anyone I've ever been with. If you too love waking up at 6 a.m. to discuss the meaning of life, we might be cooking with gas.
2. Wayne or Garth?
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If you're a Wayne kind of guy, you're fun, forward and flirtatious. If you're a Garth, you're shy on the streets and a freak in the sheets. Either way, I'll be happy to run my fingers through your early '90s mullet. Party on.
3. Text or phone call?
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Haven't we all learned by now that texting saves us from the cumbersome chore of touching voices in a phone call? And please don't leave me a voice message because I won't listen to that either.
More: 12 First date stories so bad you won't know whether to laugh or cry
4. Tupac or Biggie?
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No, this isn't a test to see which side you fall on in the East Coast-West Coast hip hop feud. The correct answer is that you watched Tupac: Resurrection and Notorious B.I.G.: Behind the Music back to back and cried your eyes out just like I did.
5. Peanut butter or jelly?
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Clearly, this is a trick question. If you're enjoying these delicious condiments separately instead of smooshed between a few slices of bread, you're doing it wrong.
6. Zack or Slater?
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Do you identify more with the popular prep or the beefcake with the heart of gold (and pleated pants)? No matter — the obvious answer here is not Screech. Try as I might, I just can't shake the horror that is the Dustin Diamond sex tape.
7. Jeans or jorts?
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This should go without saying, but you're a guy who would never be caught dead in jorts, right? Right?
8. Monopoly or Jenga?
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The Monopoly guy is the fastidious type who dips into his boundless fount of patience to refrain from clawing his eyes out during a four-hour tourney. The Jenga guy is the life of the party. (And I think we all know to steer clear of the Twister guy.) I always go for the Monopoly guy myself because he's the one who's going to stick around.
9. Wine or beer?
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The answer I'm looking for here is: "Yes, please!"
10. Front door or back door?
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KIDDING. I'll save the dirty sex questions for our second date.
11. California or Florida?
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Beautiful Florida beaches aside, I'm sorry — if you choose Florida on this one, do not pass go and do not collect $200. You are going directly to jail, where you will be in good company with all the other men in Florida. (For further proof, consult the hilarious Florida Man Twitter account that tracks all the absurd things people do in Florida.)